there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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