I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
