my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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