you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
