Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
