Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
