Kiss
Puke
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
