we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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