Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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