So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
