Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
