I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
