If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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