did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
