found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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