ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
