MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
