i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
