i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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