Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
