my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize