I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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