Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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