if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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