I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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