is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
