dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
