The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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