I heard we made out
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
