dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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