I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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