Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
