I'd wear matching sweaters with you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You need Xanax blowdarts
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
