If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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