im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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