last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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