She is in my trunk
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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