mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
