I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
