He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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