Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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