Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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