whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
