with your own penis?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
