Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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