Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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