I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
