so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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