It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish you could order shots online.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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