oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
