Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
