flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
