Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize