dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
