Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
