my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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