will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
