I got chris browned last night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
