This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
