Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
