Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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