I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
