Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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