he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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