i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize