You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
